Half a Decade and 10 Specialists Later, Mystery (Maybe) Solved 🫠🙏

At the time of this writing, I am 36 years old, a little more than a full year past the ability to adorn the title of "geriatric pregnancy" (go me, I know 🤘🏻👵🏻), IF I could achieve such a feat. 😒 If only getting pregnant was as easy as my 9th grade Health teacher said it would be (and maybe it is for a teenager or twenty-something, more on that later, but STILL, UGH).

My husband and I have been trying to conceive a child for going on three years. Throughout this time, I've experienced some painfully odd physical ailments, though I didn't think any of them were related to infertility, mainly because none of the 13 specialists I've seen over the past several years indicated even an inkling, despite my verbose medical history sharing and updating.

(I've already expressed distrust and frustration with the American medical system in a previous post. It's only going to get worse from here, so if you're reading this as a member of the field of medicine in the US, just breathe and stay with me. I'd truly appreciate your feedback. 💭)

Ready for TMI? Check out this list of strange symptoms that have cropped up for me over the last few years:

1. Vulvar burning that can best be described as slicing off four or five layers of inner-thigh skin then squeezing lemon juice on the raw flesh then rubbing it with freshly ruptured ghost pepper bits and topping it off with some salted tajin. (Yeah, it F-ing HURTS and F-ing SUCKS. 👎🏻🔥)

   
   

2. Urinary leakage, sudden and embarrassing enough to consider wearing a giant pad or diaper. ☹️🧷

   
   

3. Extreme urinary urgency that's seemingly random, while other times brought on by watching water run out of a faucet pre a simple hand wash; one time so bad I sprinted across a busy street because suddenly I was hit with the most powerful pressure to pee I've ever felt. I literally raced in intense urinary pain to make it to my apartment just so I could pull down my pants in time to hit the toilet seat before soaking myself in urine—I had already leaked some—BUT when I willed the bladder to release, only TEENSY TRICKLES came out, which felt like lighted kerosine through my urethra. 🥵💧

   
   

4. Irregular pre- and post-menses bleeding / spotting that happens so long it freaks me out, like three to four days of the month before red blood exits my vagina, I bleed light to dark brown spots. Then, after the red blood fun, which only lasts a day and a half to two days, I see another four to five days of the death-like blood, dark and sometimes chunky. ⚰️😥

   
   

5. Intensely painful sometimes bumpy breasts that can be so sensitive my bra bothers them during casual wear, like barely rubbing. (This has been a longtime symptom I'm just starting to recognize is likely related to the above symptoms, though I didn't realize until my latest treatment protocol.) 💥😭

   
   

6. Miscarriage (maybe, probably). About six-and-a-half years ago I miscarried a confirmed pregnancy. I didn't think about it then, but it was likely caused by the issue that's been recently identified. The gynecologist I was seeing at the time told me miscarriage was normal and that my body probably recognized an unviable fetus and spontaneously made the "decision" to abort. At that time, that made sense to me. Now, not so much, though it could still be true, it's impossible to know with the data available. 👼💀

   
   

7. Infertility (self explanatory).

   
   

If you're a female reading this, I'd bet good money you recognized a problem before or at No. 4.

(Every woman I've shared this information with has reacted as follows, "That's NOT normal." 🤯)

Well, not a single doctor, expert, or specialist I saw—check out the list of 'em below—had a sensible or otherwise VALUABLE explanation or treatment plan for me despite multiple visits, detailed explanations of my symptoms—yes, even more gruesome than the above—and stern questioning, once, to the point of calling a doc's emergency line because I was in so much pain. 😖

Here's what each of these "experts" said or did to address (🫠) my symptoms:

1. Dr. S. (D.O.) — "You're completely healthy. Nothing is wrong with your urine test."

2. Dr. D. (OB/GYN) — Prescribed anti-biotics

3. Dr. C. (OB/GYN) — "See a urologist."

4. Dr. G. (OB/GYN) — "Hmm... I can't find anything wrong with you."

5. Dr. B. (pelvic floor specialist) — "We just need to strengthen your pelvic floor."

6. Dr. L. (urologist) — "I'm not sure, but I think you have vulvodynia."

7. T. (exercise science certified) — "We need to work on stretching."

8. J. (exercise science certified) — "You need to stretch more."

9. Dr. K. (chiro) — "I'm noticing some distress in the pelvic and abdominal areas. Take these supplements regularly."

10. Dr. W. (chiro) — Prescribed weekly adjustments and TENS (shocks) to my back

11. Dr. J. (chiro) — Prescribed weekly adjustments, laser therapy, stretching, traction, and massage

12. N. (PT) — Prescribed weekly PT

13. J. (PT) — Prescribed weekly PT

I'm still in shock that NOT ONE of the OB/GYN's thought an 11-day period was abnormal, of all the symptoms I exhibited, NOT ONE. Talk about frustration! 🤬 It doesn't take an M.D. to recognize that pain is the body signaling something is WRONG. I was in AGONY for days, months, and not ONE doctor or specialist could help me.

Do you want to know what

is, the diagnosis the urologist gave me? This is great. It's an "autoimmune disease" that explains many of my symptoms, especially those where my vulva was in extreme pain, BUT there's no explanation for origin or treatment; NONE. Super helpful. So medical science to this point has put a label on the symptoms but has no idea where they come from or how to eradicate them. LOVELY, right?

So how did I deal with the pain? Based on my reading about vulvodynia, my ONLY diagnosis, which said the symptoms could randomly disappear, and my psychology training, I purposed myself to cognitively dismiss any thoughts around my pain, to literally will the pain away, pretend it wasn't there, imagine the symptoms were in my head. (Believe it or not, this helped significantly, though there were times when my thoughts could not ease the pain, and yes, it made me consider how much of it was in my head, a thought that still bothers me to this day and has made me think about my entire existence regarding feeling in any capacity into a state of higher consciousness than I ever wanted it to be; a topic to thoroughly explore another time. 🧠)

Fast forward to July of 2024. I'm having coffee and catching up with an old friend and she recommends I visit this Chinese medical practitioner who helped both her and her sister with reproductive medical concerns. (Both were miscarriages that this specialist helped them avoid surgery to overcome.) She legit forced me to call this woman, grabbed my phone and called her and passed me the phone when she answered.

My first appointment with Dr. D. was in August 2024, and her first question to me? "What is your diet like?"

I spent YEARS trying to come up with a potential culprit for my symptoms. I'd thought of EVERYTHING, including diet, but every time I'd ask one of the doctors or specialists above if my diet could have anything to do with what I was going through, they adamantly dismissed the idea. The urologist said, "Your diet has nothing to do with your symptoms. Nothing."

I told her about my diet, which I thought was pretty healthy, and I still believe it was healthy compared to most Americans. She listened, and then she asked about my symptoms, and I gave it all to her, every detail, and she listened, even took notes.

I tend to be long-winded, and I was already counting in my head the number of "specialists" I'd seen to that point for these issues, thinking this would be another futile attempt, especially one with more money dolled out with no return, but she started nodding her head and I knew she was ready to speak.

"I believe you have endometriosis."

Not some wild label I'd never heard of or some autoimmune BS, but an actual somewhat familiar medical diagnosis!

She explained endometriosis to me, that it's an abnormal growing of the natural endometrium in the uterus and other female anatomical tissue areas including the bladder and urethra, and that, sadly, it goes widely unrecognized in women, especially in the US.

(I'm almost to the point of tears now because what she's saying makes sense to me, for the first time in this journey!)

Immediately, she told me to cut:

• GLUTEN

• DAIRY

• ALCOHOL

• REFINED SUGAR

This was slightly daunting, but nothing was worse than my pain, so I said, "Done."

She then prescribed some natural supplements, two, that would help my body shed the excess abnormal tissues WITHOUT SURGERY. (Endometriosis, once diagnosed, can only be treated according to Western medicine via laparoscopy, a minimally but still invasive surgical procedure where the abnormal tissue is cut out of the body. This procedure does not treat the cause of the issue, but help with symptoms until the tissue grows back.

Also important to note, laparoscopy is the only recognized way to diagnose endometriosis, so I can't be 100% certain I have it, we're just going by Dr. D.'s 20-plus years of experience and 90-plus Google reviews with a perfect 5.0 score, which is a lot more than any other "specialist" I'd seen to that point could show.) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

It's now just over five months since I started Dr. D.'s treatment protocol and I've seen truly incredible results, most notably two almost NORMAL periods for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE! I did not know periods could be almost pain FREE! I've also seen almost normal bleeding, with a reduction in total menstruation time each month down to nine days from 11, as well as more normal red blood vs. dark and light brown.

(I'm also down 17 lbs!)

I'll keep you posted, but DANG, this has been one HECK of an experience. She said once I have three consecutive normal periods, we can start trying again for a baby! 🙌

Key takeaways:

1. Do NOT give up on yourself. Keep seeking opinions if you haven't found a solution.

2. Diet IS ALWAYS related to how you feel in regard to your health, no matter WHAT you're experiencing, so that's a great start.

3. Don't be afraid to share your experience with friends, especially women if it's a female issue. You'll be surprised at what others share, often similar stories that validate your experience.

4. Research and read! The Internet can be a scary place, especially when you're dealing with health issues, but the more you digest, the more you'll understand—use common sense, of course, and don't take any of the "you're-going-to-die-soon" diagnoses too serious—and the better questions you'll have for when you find a solid person who can actually help.